I almost died!

Last week I almost threw in the towel - It was a week full of ups and downs emotionally for me and on top of that my son was teething and not having a good time. I felt like I had the worst job in the world and I keep saying "what did I get myself into?" I would pray for help and ask God to help me understand the importance of this job because I was beginning to lose my cool.
So now it was Saturday and I wanted to get myself together so I went and joined weight watchers, enjoyed the morning alone and then came home to have breakfast with my two guys. The day was looking good and I was glad that the week was slowly leaving its icky feeling behind me.
I hated feeling like a bad mom and as though I was doing a bad job. I hate not being able to play with my son because I am feeling out of it and losing my patience. But it could only get better from here.
We spent a lovely Sunday at church and then a family BBQ where my son had fun playing and exploring his surroundings. He was like a kid in a candy store. He was free to roam about and feel the floor, grass and pavement underneath his hands and knees.
Well its a new week and things were looking better - I kept to my diet and monitored everything that I ate and made sure I was good. My son and I went for a walk and then later in the day we went to the park to play in the sand.
Awe yes sand, its new feeling for him and he is not sure if he likes it or not, but the look in his face, that look of confusion and doubt, slowly went away as he wiggled his toes in the sand and ran his fingers as though he was playing with noodles or worms.
And then - the moment we have all been waiting for! No he didn't say mama, he still feels my name is mapapa. But that's OK I know he will soon get it. As we finished our serving of kiwi and played in the living room, my son decided to stand up and walk around the edge of the toy box. He slowly cheeped around until he got to be face to face with the couch.
With a look of sheer determination and a bit of confusion, he took his first steps! I was so excited that I grabed him and hugged him so hard he just laughed - it was as if he was like "what? arent I supposed to do this?" Oh what a proud moment it was but to be honest I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I had to walk away and cry a little.
The idea that my little guy is walking! Even though some say that its not something I should be excited about, because now its more work. But to me its excitement and joy that I was able to be here for that. I know he is still a little guy, but there are so many more firsts to come and then there are those that I know I wont be able to share when I go back to work. But for now I will take any first that comes to me.